Let Them Go Through the Hard Stuff

One of the hardest things as parents is letting your child go through the tough hard things.  The Mamma and Pappa bear want to shield and protect and keep our kids or family or friends from the painful hard things.  Its a struggle to even say this but we have to let them go through it so they see how to problem solve, see how much those that care about them love them and to see Jesus in themselves and in the situation.  Let your kids, friends and family go through the hard stuff.  When they do you will see the fruit of your labor come forth and you will sit back in awe of what Jesus has done in your kids, family or friendship through the years.  Its painful for us to see but it is necessary for their growth and relationship with the Father.  Jesus does it with us, we need to do it with our children, family and friends too.

I was watching Kinzy during worship one Sunday. She was walking around freely full of joy on the stage. She had stepped off the stage and fell a little. Chris was watching the whole time. When she fell he remained steady not flinching and confident she was ok. She had gotten up totally fine and was continuing her confident and joyful walk. Then, she started to walk too far and Chris went after her brought her back and held her. She wanted to get down. He kept holding her tight. She was squirming and cried to get down. He pulled her closer and held her tight. She eventually relaxed and rested in Chris’ arms.

I thought this was a wonderful picture of how The Father is with us. He is watching us and over us and if we fall a little and he knows we will be ok and He doesn’t move. He remains confident in what we are doing. (I think if He did move and come and comfort us we would rely too much on our feelings). Then, if we start walking away too far He will come and find us and bring us back and hold us tight even if we don’t want to be held and just cover us with His love. At first we kick and scream but then we surrender and accept the love and rest in Him.

If you are going through a time that feels like why is God allowing me to go through this hard time.  Where is He?  I don’t understand why He isn’t making this hard thing go away. If you are feeling this please know He is with you.  He has a purpose for the hard things.  Go to someone and tell them what is going on.  Have an open heart toward the Lord to show you what is in the hard stuff.  He is always faithful.  Or do you have someone you know or a loved one who is going through it?  Protect them with prayer and support by talking with them.  Watch what the Lord will do.  Obviously if the situation is not safe or healthy intervene.  Otherwise, allow for them to go through it.  If they don’t this time, another time will come so they can learn what needs to be learned.

I ask that God’s love surrounds you and brings you peace.  Allow Him to cover you in His love.  Don’t allow walls of bitterness to come up towards Him.  Even If you do he will just come find you and hold you until you kick and scream and then surrender to His love and rest.

Love you!




Allow For Fire

On Sunday during worship we sang “Baptize My Heart”.

As we sang Baptize my heart with your fire, I don’t want to be offended.  I knew in my heart that I needed to be on my knees before the Father asking Him to baptize my heart with fire so I won’t be offended.  What offenses?  As He moves on those that are around me what will that look like?  When the Father is dealing with my husband’s heart or my friends heart or MY heart what will that be like?  I don’t want to be offended and miss what the Father is doing.  I want to be so open to being used by Him that nothing holds me back to being apart and being there for anyone.  ANYONE!  In order to do this the fire has to burn out of my heart what is not of Him.

Wellll, little did I realize what I was praying over my heart on Sunday as when Monday night came along I was shown by the Father an area in my life that needed to be dealt with.  I am being real with you all and that is not a comfortable place for me but its ok.  Bob and I had a disagreement that was not pretty and was just down right aweful.  I knew it was just ridiculous.  How many times do we argue with someone and it is just such stupid things to be arguing about?  Anyway, I knew in my Spirit even in the midst of what was happening that I had a choice to turn from it and be a Son or continue being in my flesh.  We didn’t end the night with an I am sorry or anything close to it but the next day…

I was editing while I was worshiping and the Father spoke to me about how I prayed on Sunday to have him baptize my heart with His fire and that I didn’t want to be offended.  He was answering the very thing I prayed on Sunday.  I hadn’t realized what that was going to look like.

Before I started editing and worshiping Tuesday AM I was really feeling like I should lock our front door.  I don’t usually do that when everyone leaves but this day I felt I was suppose to.  As I was in the place of worship and revelation there was a sound at the front of our home.  My dog ran up to the window and growled and barked.  I looked over and some guy was walking along our house but right up next to the window.  I have no idea who it was but I was calling my dog over to stop her from barking and told her it was ok.  I was not afraid.  At all!  In that place of worship fear has no place.  It is foreign.

I went to bible study Wednesday night and I have to say after going non stop through out the day I did not want to go.  I was tired and wanted to be at home.  When bible study started I was trying to follow what all Mark was saying and I just wasn’t getting it or getting into it (not his fault!).  Then, about 20 minutes into it I got it.  “What is the definition of a son?  One that has the nature and character of the Father.  A son can not help but display His DNA.  If you are a servant you will display someone else’s DNA when times are tough.  When you are a son you bleed Him.  You sweat Him.  When you are in the midst of trial you are like the character of the Father.  Fire comes to burn our flesh.  Flesh = the law of sin and death.  But it burns so the Son or the original you can arise. ” – Mark Durniak

My Father, please even though I am afraid to pray this, burn out of my heart what does not align with being a son.  All of the habits, fears, false humility, offenses.  I know it is a process and it will hurt but I am willing to go through whatever it is that you need to do in me so I can be more of a son.  I know you won’t allow me to go through anything that I can’t handle.  I put my trust in you.

The reason I am sharing all of this is #1- please keep pressing in.  Keep allowing the fire to burn as He wants to shine through you and bring forth the son in you!  #2- make every effort to be at bible study or watch it from the website.  No I truly mean it!  Get to bible study because I am telling you it is amazing to hear truth and the revelation that comes from Mark or whoever is speaking but also from those that are there.

I am so hungry for what the Father is doing and will be doing around me through me and IN ALL OF YOU!  Please allow the process to go forth.  The Father wants to use you and have the son arise in you!!

Listen to Truth

The Avengers Movie

God speaks to me in movies sometimes and when we went on Sunday to see the Avengers I was a little disappointed in the beginning because it didn’t seem to have much of a story line. But, I asked God to show me something in the movie.

I usually have to watch a movie several times to remember or to get everything out of it that I feel I need but since it was in the theater and it probably won’t be out for awhile I will have to do the best I can.

Part of it was the Avengers coming together to figure out how they were going to keep the “aliens” from coming to the area. They realized that the only way they were going to be able to do this is TOGETHER. As one.

When Stark was going to get a sword there was a women that snuck into the room he was in. She had a power to make his mind think about his worst fears and failures. He had a vision of being the one to kill all of his Avengers team by not doing enough to help them. He woke and took his sword.

This women visited each Avenger and all of them but one ended up in some what of a trance of being stuck thinking about their fears, past or failures. The one that did not have this happen to him saw what she was doing and fought her off and she left. Those that were put into a mind trap or trance or making them feel afraid or disappointed ended up fighting each other. They were not in unity.

Let me tell you what the Lord was showing me through this. We are so unified right now. The most unified I have ever felt in a church body. It is something amazing that God is doing. I am so thankful for the love and unity at WHO. We are as ONE and will fight TOGETHER to establish all that God wants us to do.

We need to be careful and aware of the thoughts that the enemy may put into our minds that may cause us to think about our fears and back on our past failures or what others may be saying or doing that may not be true. This is a trap that can cause disunity and God isn’t able to move as much if we are not in unity. Yes we need to focus on the Lord and not on the enemy but we also need to learn where he has deceived before and we can recognize this when and if the enemy tries this on us so we can fight it off and it will leave. The one Avenger that didn’t allow the lies to enter his mind was the only one who could think straight.

Later on in the movie the Avengers saw what was going on and recognized what they needed to do to be as ONE or TOGETHER to defeat the enemy. The one lady who put the “spell”on their minds saw the evil that she was apart of with the main enemy and turned from the evil and joined the good. If we can recognize what the enemy whispers to us and realize it is lies and go forth in unity and not listen to them I think those that originally wanted to bring destruction will see their evil ways and come follow those that are lead by the Father and will join in on doing the Lords will.

When they joined together in unity they saved a whole city from the destruction of the enemy. They brought all of the people to safety.

I am not saying that this will definitely happen I am just saying that I think God is warning us as my family and also maybe as the body to be careful to what you listen to, the thoughts that come into your head. Are they lies or truth? Recognize it and fight off the lies so we can stay in unity and bring those that may want to divide into the unity and love of the FATHER to bring forth HIS purpose.

This is the second time in the last month that I have been “warned” about being careful about listening to lies. The other time was in a dream. Some of us from church, one was a leader, were entering a room. We went through a door. The room was white with nothing on the walls except across from where we entered there was a door that lead to another room within the wall. I was with this group that was going to see past the door and then, two other women got scared and one ran out of the room we were in and went down a hallway and the other said, “Did you see the bee?” and then the bee entered someone’s mouth.

This dream was more of saying be careful to not listen to fear and not to allow what others say take you off course of what you are to do because you will end up afraid and maybe end up saying the very things they are saying. The bee entered someone’s mouth. Bees represent witchcraft sometimes in dreams. Speaking against what God is doing. Just because we may not understand what is going on with what God is doing we can’t speak against it as it is like witchcraft.

The Real Me

I feel very intimidated sharing this blog post as there are so many wonderful writers out there!  But, sometimes you look past what everyone else may think and you have to share what is on your heart.

Where to begin.  So much to share.  I guess I should begin by telling you who I thought I was.  I have always known myself to be shy, unimportant, talented but hiding in that.


What has been my identity was all a collection of things that I thought about myself, what others thought about me and labels about my talent with photography.  Who am I?

I attended a class that Diane Helman is teaching.  It is knowing your identity.  I knew in my heart I had to attend this but I also knew it was going to be hard as I didn’t really want to confront what I thought I was.  I have only been to one class and God has already shown me that I really didn’t know who I was.  My business has slowed down, my friendships have been distant and my marriage has been well, existing.  I knew when I attended Diane’s class that all of this was His doing!

I need to know who I really am before all of this can flourish.

On Friday I knew we weren’t going to be able to attend Koinonia as my son was home with the stomach flu.  That morning I was angry and frustrated that we couldn’t go.  The only thing Connor wanted to do for his birthday was go to Koinonia.  But, I heard God say to me Deep Calls Unto Deep (psalm 42).  So, I spent some time researching this scripture.    Some say that the waves were because of natural things happening with rainfalls which lead to flooding.  Others say it was a picture of the troubles that he was enduring wave after wave but then he says, “Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”  I felt like God was showing me that particularly in our life that we were having a lot of things happen to us that were burdening and like a crashing wave that kept crashing.  But also that this weekend would be like these waves.  Crashing false identities, lies and it was going to be somewhat hard to enter in to His presence.  Then, there would be a huge wave of His presence.  Friday night on livestream it seemed it was hard to enter in.  It was like He was saying this is about Me.  Just wait for Me.

On Saturday night we attended and at first I was frustrated as I felt like I just couldn’t get past a wall of nothingness.  God where are you and why can’t I find you?  Then, Leslie prayed.  I was all of a sudden praying like never before and taken up into His purpose for me.  Praying along others for the furthering of His kingdom.  It was unified, powerful and indescribable.  We could all see each other the way that He sees us.  Seeing those that may not be saved yet and claiming land for His purpose.  My daughter was up front with me.  Not beside me but joined with others up front.  It was so beautiful to see her heart towards the Father and enter into His deep love for her.  I was overwhelmed with His presence.  I had my camera up front with me and to be honest I couldn’t take many pics as I was so into what was going on this weekend but I did get a shot of my daughter which is the feature pic.  I treasure it as it shows her laying in His love for her.  Simply amazing was Saturday evening.

Sunday came and I couldn’t wait to get back to WHO to continue being apart of what He was doing.  As some from the Ukraine were up front honoring the Durniak family I was saddened as I wanted to be up there praying for them and washing their feet.  NOT as a worship way but as an HONORING way.  My heart was full of love for them.  Then, I knew I had to approach someone.  I had to honor this person but also repent for how I was judging them.  I had for quite some time felt a wall between this person and myself as I had felt that they saw themselves as higher than me and I was nothing to them.  It was NOT them.  It was ME!  I had judged them and made that to be real in my vision of them.  I got up and was trying to find them but couldn’t.  I was really needing to use  the bathroom lol so I usually go out by the cafe’ but this time went over by the nursery side and as I walked through the sanctuary doors to the hallway, there they were!  It was God ordained.  I had shared, repented and honored them.  It was beautiful!  They had said that they had to do the very same thing that I had just came to them about with someone else.  God is real guys!  He sees everything, knows everything and ordains everything!

Then, during the morning after honoring one another it was like a party in His presence celebrating all that He did over the weekend.  Lisa King pulled me up to the front onto the stage.  At first I was like no way but I knew I was to go up there as it was a breakthrough for me.

I am:

The Father’s Daughter



Powerful in Him


…and still learning who I am 🙂