On Sunday during worship we sang “Baptize My Heart”.
As we sang Baptize my heart with your fire, I don’t want to be offended. I knew in my heart that I needed to be on my knees before the Father asking Him to baptize my heart with fire so I won’t be offended. What offenses? As He moves on those that are around me what will that look like? When the Father is dealing with my husband’s heart or my friends heart or MY heart what will that be like? I don’t want to be offended and miss what the Father is doing. I want to be so open to being used by Him that nothing holds me back to being apart and being there for anyone. ANYONE! In order to do this the fire has to burn out of my heart what is not of Him.
Wellll, little did I realize what I was praying over my heart on Sunday as when Monday night came along I was shown by the Father an area in my life that needed to be dealt with. I am being real with you all and that is not a comfortable place for me but its ok. Bob and I had a disagreement that was not pretty and was just down right aweful. I knew it was just ridiculous. How many times do we argue with someone and it is just such stupid things to be arguing about? Anyway, I knew in my Spirit even in the midst of what was happening that I had a choice to turn from it and be a Son or continue being in my flesh. We didn’t end the night with an I am sorry or anything close to it but the next day…
I was editing while I was worshiping and the Father spoke to me about how I prayed on Sunday to have him baptize my heart with His fire and that I didn’t want to be offended. He was answering the very thing I prayed on Sunday. I hadn’t realized what that was going to look like.
Before I started editing and worshiping Tuesday AM I was really feeling like I should lock our front door. I don’t usually do that when everyone leaves but this day I felt I was suppose to. As I was in the place of worship and revelation there was a sound at the front of our home. My dog ran up to the window and growled and barked. I looked over and some guy was walking along our house but right up next to the window. I have no idea who it was but I was calling my dog over to stop her from barking and told her it was ok. I was not afraid. At all! In that place of worship fear has no place. It is foreign.
I went to bible study Wednesday night and I have to say after going non stop through out the day I did not want to go. I was tired and wanted to be at home. When bible study started I was trying to follow what all Mark was saying and I just wasn’t getting it or getting into it (not his fault!). Then, about 20 minutes into it I got it. “What is the definition of a son? One that has the nature and character of the Father. A son can not help but display His DNA. If you are a servant you will display someone else’s DNA when times are tough. When you are a son you bleed Him. You sweat Him. When you are in the midst of trial you are like the character of the Father. Fire comes to burn our flesh. Flesh = the law of sin and death. But it burns so the Son or the original you can arise. ” – Mark Durniak
My Father, please even though I am afraid to pray this, burn out of my heart what does not align with being a son. All of the habits, fears, false humility, offenses. I know it is a process and it will hurt but I am willing to go through whatever it is that you need to do in me so I can be more of a son. I know you won’t allow me to go through anything that I can’t handle. I put my trust in you.
The reason I am sharing all of this is #1- please keep pressing in. Keep allowing the fire to burn as He wants to shine through you and bring forth the son in you! #2- make every effort to be at bible study or watch it from the website. No I truly mean it! Get to bible study because I am telling you it is amazing to hear truth and the revelation that comes from Mark or whoever is speaking but also from those that are there.
I am so hungry for what the Father is doing and will be doing around me through me and IN ALL OF YOU! Please allow the process to go forth. The Father wants to use you and have the son arise in you!!